Lu ye, 34, last suffered domestic violence at 10.30pm on February 17, 2019, just days after valentine's day, when her husband blamed her for losing the family vacuum cleaner. A small incident caused waves. Her husband clamped her wrist against the sofa, then punched her in the chest. Lu ye heard the desperate cry of her three-year-old son and the crack of her ribs. "You're going to jail," she said, before her husband's fist came to a screeching halt. The next second, he jumped from the couch to the ground, knelt down with a splash, and began apologizing to her in horror. "His intense remorse gave the impression that he was just acting on impulse and would change." This illusion starts when you are in love.
Li meng met zhou tao is still in a marriage, but li meng or choose to live with zhou tao，after the divorce, zhou tao repeatedly mentioned to get a license, li meng out of marriage cheating at her ex-husband did not immediately agree, after a few quarrels, beating, this thought that the house can rebuild a warm home, became a cold cruel prison of despair. During his captivity, li meng repeatedly tried to self-harm and drink pesticides. The most serious two times he was admitted to the hospital, but he was rescued. When she opened her eyes, she saw the darkened room and zhou tao's blue veins protruding face.Sometimes, after domestic violence, he would kneel outside the bars and beg for li meng's mercy, blowing his face up again and again, while croaking: "I will die with you." Li meng could not remember how many times he had died. Three months ago, after drinking pesticide, she was rescued by the hospital and returned to her husband. It seemed that the blood in her body had stopped flowing.
Most of these groups are active at night. The day is the quiet time when everyone is anxious to "endure the day". More than 95% of the group members are female, and they call each other "sisters", just like the women who strayed into the big house in the old days and fought against the same evil husband.
Of course, it's not just women who are losing their voices in this storm. According to data released by the All-China Women's Federation and the National Bureau of Statistics in 2018, about 19.9 percent of domestic violence victims nationwide are male. Compared to women's "pain" and "torture", the key words of male victims tend to be "loneliness" and "incompetence". In this virtual community of mutual complaints and group warming, "women" are assumed to be victims. Some voices were repeatedly rubbed, and we heard elegies about love, mingled with moans of pain. Others, hidden in blood and scars, were silent.
There is no doubt that she believes in her heart that zhou tao can "turn around" and send a sentence online: domestic violence only once and unlimited times. In fact, many women are more likely to believe it.
November 25th is the international day for the elimination of domestic violence designated by the United Nations. According to statistics from the All-China Women's Federation in 2018, about 30 percent of China's 270 million households have experienced domestic violence, and nearly 160,000 of them have committed suicide.
Twenty years ago, the United Nations general assembly adopted a resolution designating November 25 as the international day for the elimination of domestic violence. Almost two decades ago, a TV series called "don't talk to strangers" shaped our first understanding of domestic violence. The an jia that feng yuanzheng personates and appearance wen wensuanya, just like demon however in the home. His wife, mei xiangnan, epitomizes the majority of women who live under the threat of domestic violence in China. Perhaps it is hard for us to imagine that there are countless anjiahe and mei xiangnan around us.
After autumn, the chilly wind began to blow in changsha. Looking out through the cracks in the Windows of the 13th floor, the cloudy sky looked like an indifferent face.
In addition to talking, the group occasionally retweeted "self-defense tips", inspirational stories of powerful women, or simply Shared their daily life, such as "I went to the park to relax today" or "I finally got up the courage to see a lawyer today".
It is a medium-sized "support group" with a total of less than 150 members. It was founded in 2015, and every week new people join it, while others quietly retire. A search for the keyword "domestic violence" on QQ shows at least 100 similar groups, ranging from 3-400 people to dozens of groups that have been silent for years.
There are still more people we can't see, shivering in disbelief at the demise of romance, who lock themselves up in claustrophobic corners they don't want to be known. All violence in the name of love hurts not only physically, but also in the hidden corners of the heart.
If you click on the group file, you can see many pixel-blurred photos of wounds, selfies with tears hanging from the corners of your eyes, judicial identification of injuries and other images.
After her husband kicked two broken ribs and a broken sternum, luye gave herself a boost in excruciating pain: he could change, he could. Li meng has the same psychology. After being released from the "cage", her husband cooked a table of hot dishes for her. While eating, she shed tears, but she found that the tears were actually moved rather than painful.
(Picture Source:Baidu)
At 1:00 am on November 20, 2019, the QQ group of "national domestic violence mutual aid alliance" lit up as usual.Someone suggested: "all come to report a safe." "I was hit again today, my eyes are a little shadow now, I feel there is water vapor in front of me." "He was asleep when I came back." "I figured out a way to trick him into thinking I was sick. "Support you fight, afraid you get hurt." Group manager this sentence is not know who is the reply, "if you retreat, also hurt." Several "sisters" from the silence "burst out" to express concern.
Li meng was her husband locked up in the home for a week, thirteen floors of the room like hell, she looked desperately at the iron fence, quietly in the corner of the yuan wrote a "110", to her husband zhou tao stretched out to the hand for money. The chance of survival is slim, followed by not hope, but more violent fists. She watched as the man, who had lived with her for three years, smashed almost everything in the house, including the apple 7 and jewelry her ex-husband had given her.
One of TED's speakers, Leslie Morgan steiner, said that in two and a half years of marriage, she had been beaten once or twice a week by her ex-husband. But she was barely aware that she was "being abused" and felt that she was "the only person in the world who could help her husband face his demons". People who are victims of violence in intimate relationships sometimes have psychological illusions, subconsciously "psychologically justifying" their own injustices in the relationship because of the emotional commitment. One learns to abuse, the other learns to despair, and then to numb.
According to statistics from the All-China Women's Federation in 2018, about 30 percent of China's 270 million households have experienced domestic violence, and nearly 160,000 of them have committed suicide.
In many domestic violence stories, the abuser alternates between "tyrannical" and "remorseful," with bizarre episodes like "he hit me and then kissed me."
